Andrew Natoli

But wait, there’s more! Now the monster’s that have claimed texting can draw your attention away from hazardous road conditions while driving now want you to think it’s bad to text while walking! Well… perhaps it is. At least for a 15-year-old teen girl from Staten Island whom just so happened to fall into a man-hole while texting.

This is why we can’t have 1440×900 resolutions on our cellular devices, people. I know bigger screens make bigger smiles, but think of all the construction workers being sued out of their minds because of the accidents they cause! Our economy is facing a recession and we’re only contributing by falling into manholes! Not only that, but the shock and disgust from falling into one can drive potential workers away from careers in the field! We’ve got billions of dollars being pumped into our economy regardless of our debt, yet we’re scaring away all the workers because they fear getting fecal matter on their hard-shell Blackberry cases. What good is this going to do? We need change! I command you all to go out and purchase this phone. Your vision while walking will improve drastically. Either that or it will decrease because you’ll be straining your eyes to focus on such a small screen.

Or we can just go with a completely different idea. Kids, if you see an open man-hole, or men with hard-hats on, please steer clear of your existing path or be a little more focused on what’s around you. Our next story will consist of a texting child walking into the freezer of a butcher shop and getting swine flu.

Big world. It can happen.

Source: MSNBC – Click Here for the actual, “un-butchered” news article.